Has anyone ever told you that you have an attitude problem and you couldn’t understand why they said that, considering that you’re a kind, sweet and patient person who’s soft spoken and always willing to help?
Maybe you’ve been told more than once and you’re starting to wonder if it’s true. Chances are that it is true. You do have an attitude problem and no, i’m not (yet) a psychologist but maybe I could explain what a bad attitude is the way I understand it.
A bad attitude is basically code for ‘You’re rude’. Yeah, your mouth is as big as a gutter that doesn’t smell so good. You open it up and bad things come out. You stand next to a person and distressing heat vibes is what they get from you that they have to move. And the truth is you have no idea that you have a bad attitude, just as it’s possible for someone with a body odour is totally not aware of it.
Want to know if you really do have a bad attitude?
Are you always grumpy? Everything annoys the person with a bad attitude. When the sun shines, it’s annoying. When the rain falls, it’s annoying. There is basically no pleasing the person. Do you like to make noise over little issues. “Oh no, he gave me coke instead of fanta” and then you proceed to complain about it the rest of the day. Drama is your middle name. You go from extreme to extreme. One minute, you’re extremely happy, the next minute, you’re extremely sad. You like to talk about your problems and constantly think that people around you is out to destroy you, to worsen your life. Eh, your neighbor bought that dog just to annoy you. Eh, your friend has a boyfriend just to rub it in your face that you’re still single. Eh, your mother cooked egusi just to tell you your yellow shirt is ugly. Eh, your lecturer fixed that test just to annoy you. Na wa.
One main cause of a bad attitude is wrong belief about life. We all see life through our experiences and feelings. If you believe that the world is screwed and evil, then that’s how it will always be for you. If you believe that the world is good and full of good people and things no matter how small they may be, then the world will always be good for you no matter what.
Another truth is this: you’re self absorbed. You think only about yourself, you’re so wrapped up in your own world and your own problems that other people’s world’s and problems don’t exist cos all you see, is you.
Another reason could be unexpressed emotions. People who have a bad attitude are usually afraid of confrontations. So when somebody hurts them, they bottle it inside and take it out on everybody who crosses their path that day, and the next, and the next, and the next day.
Unresolved disputes and arguments cause internal struggles that affect the psyche, colors the world in red and mess up the mind. You can’t think straight cos you’re angry and your response to everything for that day is anger.
Another possible reason is a low self esteem, causing you to become angry at the world that your parents didn’t love you enough, or that boyfriend dumped you. The easiest way to mask low self esteem is anger. Anger acts as a shield because when you’re angry, the fault is everybody else’.
Having a bad attitude doesn’t make you a bad person. People with bad attitudes are generally soft hearted and emotional people. There’s so much emotions going on and they don’t know how to handle these emotions and this causes a conflict on the inside. So the only side you get to see is the bad side.
So you want to stop having a bad attitude? Here’s How.
Refuse to get upset at things. You may not choose what happens to you but you can choose how you react to it. you may not like the way your mother or the conductor spoke to you but you can choose to not get angry the rest of the day. When someone says something bad to you, they try to leave you with that bad spirit hovering over you but you can reject it. Tell yourself “No matter what happens, I choose to remain happy!” and mean it.
How about you tell someone when they hurt you, preferably at that time and place the hurt occurred. Don’t take it home. Don’t take it out of that environment. Don’t postpone it. And finally, how about you stop thinking about yourself for once and truly look at the next person? You might be surprised.