You know that friend that always disappoints whenever the boyfriend calls?
The friend that’s ready to abandon all plans just because the boyfriend called?
The friend that rushes off every weekend to cook and clean for him, while warming his bed at night?
The friend that was ready to borrow just to give to him?
That friend is now single oh!
Don’t smile. It’s not a joke. She lost him, after all her blood, sweat and tears.
Give, give, give everything till you have nothing, then get dumped faster than sour soup. Women are givers; they give their love, heart, time, emotions, skills, body, monies, strengths, and weaknesses to the man they love, hoping that he would reciprocate.
Some men are professional takers. As long as you give, they take, take, take while searching for greener pastures.
And who can blame them? You barely say ‘hello’ to a girl and gbam! she’s in your house, cooking, cleaning, washing, sexing. All the antics of a desperate or ignorant woman.
Being so gullible makes the relationship lose its taste. Who wants to be with someone so needy? Even if you love somebody, it’s gotta be because you want to love the person and not because of pity, guilt or necessity.
Some women think that for the man to marry them, they have to show him that they can be a wife. If you have to show him, then you’re not a wife material. You just pretend you are.
The thing is that there’s always a buyer for every material. You can’t turn a cotton material to linen.
Here’s how to make him put a ring on it.
- Be yourself.
Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Don’t act like you’re rich, you have a British accent, you love to cook and wash, or that you love carrying babies. Just because you don’t really like cooking or washing doesn’t make you any less of a woman. Let him know firsthand that sometimes you feel lazy to cook or to wash BUT you are willing to do these things because you love him. You’ll see that he’ll have no problem helping you out in the kitchen sometimes, just because you were bold enough to be yourself. Men love exceptional women. They love women that are different from all the others. Show him the weird quirky side of you. If he doesn’t like it, he’s not the one.
You may not love carrying all the babies you see. Don’t act like you do. Don’t carry any baby you see when he’s around just to show him that you can be a good mother. It’s only fake and people always instinctively know fake things. He’ll never trust you completely deep down because his instincts tell him a different thing about you.
- Express Yourself
Some women love wireless moves. They love when their men know exactly how they feel and what’s on their mind without having to talk to them. That’s bullshit. Men can’t read minds as much as women can’t.
Not all men are sensitive to know when their word, or tone of voice, or gesture has offended you. You have to speak up. Stop being a baby that whines when people don’t give them what they think they deserve. Ask for it. Chances are that he doesn’t even realise that you need money to make your hair or buy a weave. Don’t just assume that ‘he should know’. Speak your mind. If you can’t do that now, how then can you raise children together with him?
- Accept Him
You don’t accept a person on your terms. You accept a person on their terms. He may not be as suave or a smooth as your ex but when you show him that you accept him completely, his height, his weight, his colour, his speech, his dressing, his job, his family, he’ll love you for it.
Show him you accept him by boldly and proudly showing him to the world. Men need to be shown that they are loved. They need petting. Don’t be afraid to hold his hand in public and cling to him like a baby when you two cross the streets. Laugh out loud and kiss him in front of everybody who cares to watch. Call him your baby and some times, treat him like one especially when he’s had a rough day.
Be supportive, no matter what. Don’t be the nagging girlfriend with an attitude problem. If you can handle unexpected situations calmly, he places more trust in you as someone he can build a life with. Not when the car breaks down, or you miss the movie, you start sulking or go off in one corner grumbling. If you can turn challenges into fun for him, you’re it girl. Be his biggest fan. Even if he messed up, talk about it respectfully and not like a market woman.
- Be independent
Have a life outside of him. He’s not the Bright and Morning Star. He’s just a part of your life. He’s not your everything. Don’t spend twenty four hours a day with him. Have your own life, friends, goals and ambitions and work towards achieving them.
Let him see you as a strong woman that chooses to need him, not one that needs to need him like a whiny baby. You’re his baby but you’re also a woman so act like one. Jealousy and possessiveness is not your middle name. You don’t need him to buy every sweet and chewing gum you want. You don’t need him to chew your food for you. Have a life outside of him. Don’t choke him with your love. When you have things going on beside him, you can never be boring. Be a great conversationalist, talking laughing and gisting with him about things like sports, politics, economics etc. Don’t wait for him to bring up topics all the time. Be thoughtful and sensitive. Know when your guy just needs you to hold him and not say anything. Know when he needs some space to think and don’t over-crowd him. Don’t push matters when he’s upset. It’s not every time that he must do what you want. He doesn’t have to stop loving football or video games cos of you. He doesn’t have to be the only one paying for dates.
- Stop playing Games
Stop trying to get him jealous by using other guys or show him how much other guys want you by letting him ‘accidentally’ see some love messages or calls. When you allow that happen, you’re telling him that you’re not only loose, but you have other options and so he should also have other options. Stop playing games. Don’t send your friend to seduce him to see if he will fall. Don’t run off to one of your chykers whenever you guys have an argument. That is immature and weak. Be a kind woman. Be low-maintenance. I don’t mean he shouldn’t spend on you but be wise with money matters. Ask him his goals and plans and how he’s working to achieve it. This will show him that you care about his future and plans. Don’t be the trophy girlfriend that asks and asks and never bothers about where the money is coming from or how he’s supposed to be planning with it. Life is n it all about human hair, make-up, expensive clothes, shoes and bags. Be adventurous enough to plan the future with him.
Watch as his confidence in you grows silently but steadily. The ring is not far behind. Except he’s gay! LOL!