A gift can be a nice gesture sometimes, it can be a show of love and affection but it can also be a noose for your neck, a trap for your legs and a clip to bind your hands in eternal submission.
Sometimes you may have to look a gift horse in the mouth. A gift is an entrance, the moment you accept a gift, even a harmless one, suddenly you are indebted to the person. Most girls know this and understand it. The moment you accept a gift from that street boy, you have to endure mouth and body odours, tongue twisting and confused words as they attempt to toast and you have to pretend to listen and find a way to say a gentle ‘NO’.
What happens when a boy buys a phone for his girlfriend? Simple: it becomes ‘our’ phone.
He checks her emails, her facebook activities, her text messages, her pictures, her BBM and whatsapp chats, he deletes whatever he wants and keeps the ones he’s comfortable with, he even helps her to chat with her friends, on her behalf. He’s the guardian angel of the phone, the gate keeper, no one can come to the phone except through him.
Now definitely not all guys do this but some do, most of them do whether unconsciously or not. The question is, are you that type of guy, the jealous insecure and selfish guy? And are you that type of girl, who would rather have an ‘our’ phone than ‘my’ phone?
The guy who thinks he owns his girlfriend just because he bought her a phone is also the kind of guy who will think his wife is his property just because he paid her bride price.
Whatever the case is, you don’t own her because you bought the phone for her. The phone is not your personal monitoring device. And you, yes you, don’t need to take that from him. You’re not a material to be weighed and valued at a certain price, bargained, haggled and then bought, for the price of a phone. A gift should remain what it is, a gift.
I once had a boyfriend that bought me a phone. At first, I didn’t realize that whenever I went to visit, the first thing he would do would be to take my phone and go through all my messages and chats on the pretext of charging it. Me na, my eye sef no reach ground. The day I discovered it was when I turned to look at him suddenly and I noticed the bad eye he was giving me at my back. I was surprised at such hostility then I noticed the way he dropped my phone and removed his face so guiltily. The quarrel no be here oh! You know how a lady’s mouth can be a machine gun. I used all my bullets that day. Funny enough, the guy didn’t learn. One night he took the phone and began chatting on my behalf. He put his picture on my display picture and put up a ‘I’m in a relationship. Don’t disturb me’ message on my status.
Boy, I was mad. Of course you know the last straw that broke the carmel’s back? This was it for me. What is your phone story?